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Its just as usual.

 The situation feels out if control. It has slipped out of my hands. I need to handle this on my own. 

But how? What would I do ?

I can't get the the whole panoramic view of the situations. I am clueless of where it began and how did it get there and how abruptly it ended. Every fragment of the events had to be put in a sequence to make sense.


I wake up sweaty. I feel panicked.


Okay, let's keep calm and think, where did it all begun.

Yesterday night.

The party .

The food.

The argument.

The hate and the curses sweared.

And then....


I can't remember. I lost the  track of the events after that. Yet, I can sense that something terrible has happened by yhe way whole home looks strewn and by the no. Of missed calls , the number of people I have never known to exist  is referred by my phone screen.

On the other side on the window of the room i am confined in, the sun shines the same, as usual  the extra-hot  expression as a revenge of human activists. Let's not get into that now .

I need to wake up and perform exactly as I have been rehearsed for. Modify your past in in a way hat can't affect your present and do the same with upur present, make its most impact on the future.



Thank you 

ANU 

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