Skip to main content

Stuck in or settling in ?

Things have been pretty blank these days. Since I am an intern, the only people I am answerable to, are my seniors at work (and this transition from being in a bunch of people of the same group to working is fairly new to me). The work timings depend, on department to department, from unit to unit and within weekdays too. Currently I am at a calmer place so I do not have anything major to worry about. Things will be changing from next week, for the next 6 weeks, about which I have no idea. I’ll get clarity on the coming Tuesday.

Coming back to the blank, with lesser hectic days, most of my time is spent lying on the sofa, scrolling through my favourite youtubers’ content, anything I would like to shop on and adding them to the bag and never with an intent of actually buying them. When not scrolling, I will either watch a movie or read a novel or hear them on audiobook apps. The loops never seem to end. When I realise that I have time at my hand and I have nothing to do, I go online searching the Best Way of utilising it. Learn piano- app is so easy to operate, learn a new language, learn cooking girl- it’s an essential skill, get entertained by watching dance and comedy content, shall I not try my hand at fashion and design—the thoughts are unlimited and exhausting.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the time I have at my hand but I cannot decide what is that thing I would want to invest my peace upon. While scrolling and coming across infinite things, I feel I’ll try this and then Ill do that, which ultimately results me to become frustrated and do nothing at all. Also, I am not super convinced on spending my only free time in getting frustrated and trying to get normal before the next work day arrives. Since its raining these days, going out isn’t the best option I would choose just for the sake of entertaining myself.

I have things to do, theory to complete but since there is no impending deadline or any approaching exam, I wish I would be able to enjoy the peace for myself instead of doing things I desperately wanted to leave just a few months ago. I don’t feel so motivated enough for it.

My kittens are the ones who remind me of life outside the screen. They jump around, fight and play, mew in chorus when they smell their food approaching. I feel there isn’t much happening in the real life and I wish to minimise the screen time as much as its possible. Will the make me unaware of all the fancy stuff people are doing and ideas to enjoy life (in front of the camera at least)?

 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Escaping, but from whom?

It's a quite place which I always claimed will make me most productive.  And now that I am here, I occasionally get lost in my thoughts, which is basically about all the issues I am surrounded with. While at home,  I was constantly in search of emptiness, a room where no one ones what am I doing, judge whether what I am doing would actully help me make my future better, to validate the feelings I express. I used to just sleep or try to study in a room locked from inside where most of the time was spent crying till I am too exhausted to do nothing more than needed, sorting what went wrong and hiding from everyone around. I have been there before and after attempts of moving on, the things are back again , right in front of me. Everytime it happens, it leave a hollowness inside which doesn't really fills up. It gets deeper, progressively. I have been shrinking out socially and hasn't been a serious bother since the ones I have to keep with me, are with me.  The previous tim...
Post a Comment
Read more

That's the way I work!

 I exhaled the breath that was captured inside me, realizing that the person didn't intend to convey the news to me yet. I'll get my news.  I don't know how long that's going to take but my mind is beginning to take its troll. I just couldn't wait anymore!  Was the news even meant for me? I didn't know. All I knew was , being patient is the only option to patient.  I have been acting impulsively. Once I decide I want to finish off something, I'll do it anyway, without giving it a second thought. Once convinced, concider it's done. The whole efforts, are therefor, put into the Convincing process. It's freaking hard to convince me to do something. My friends often say, why do you think so much? Why are you so afraid of taking actions ? I don't think I am afraid or I take too much time deciding. It's just, i don't have an explanation for this. If my Gut feeling says I should do it, I'll do it or otherwise.  Following my own philosophies,...
8 comments
Read more
  I can stare at the sky and think about literally everything that’s there, be it connecting the dots of my past happenings that got me to the stage I am. While thinking about it, I feel as if I am narrating my favorite experiences to my long-gone friend. I jump from one experience to another, losing the chain of the story and eventually getting back from where I started. I think about the most practical things I can see in my future and what I’ll need to do for it. At times, I land up making alternate possibilities of how things might have turned out if I had made choices a little different from what I actually did. Sometimes, when I don’t want to think about anything in particular, I get my earphones and enjoy the music and the peace in me with the quiet of the night. Without anything to listen, my head will always be filled with something or the other. So yeah, that works sometimes. I see aeroplanes occasionally. They lit me up. Memories. Dreams. Possibilities. In these da...
Post a Comment
Read more