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Stuck in or settling in ?

Things have been pretty blank these days. Since I am an intern, the only people I am answerable to, are my seniors at work (and this transition from being in a bunch of people of the same group to working is fairly new to me). The work timings depend, on department to department, from unit to unit and within weekdays too. Currently I am at a calmer place so I do not have anything major to worry about. Things will be changing from next week, for the next 6 weeks, about which I have no idea. I’ll get clarity on the coming Tuesday.

Coming back to the blank, with lesser hectic days, most of my time is spent lying on the sofa, scrolling through my favourite youtubers’ content, anything I would like to shop on and adding them to the bag and never with an intent of actually buying them. When not scrolling, I will either watch a movie or read a novel or hear them on audiobook apps. The loops never seem to end. When I realise that I have time at my hand and I have nothing to do, I go online searching the Best Way of utilising it. Learn piano- app is so easy to operate, learn a new language, learn cooking girl- it’s an essential skill, get entertained by watching dance and comedy content, shall I not try my hand at fashion and design—the thoughts are unlimited and exhausting.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the time I have at my hand but I cannot decide what is that thing I would want to invest my peace upon. While scrolling and coming across infinite things, I feel I’ll try this and then Ill do that, which ultimately results me to become frustrated and do nothing at all. Also, I am not super convinced on spending my only free time in getting frustrated and trying to get normal before the next work day arrives. Since its raining these days, going out isn’t the best option I would choose just for the sake of entertaining myself.

I have things to do, theory to complete but since there is no impending deadline or any approaching exam, I wish I would be able to enjoy the peace for myself instead of doing things I desperately wanted to leave just a few months ago. I don’t feel so motivated enough for it.

My kittens are the ones who remind me of life outside the screen. They jump around, fight and play, mew in chorus when they smell their food approaching. I feel there isn’t much happening in the real life and I wish to minimise the screen time as much as its possible. Will the make me unaware of all the fancy stuff people are doing and ideas to enjoy life (in front of the camera at least)?

 


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