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Hopeless

 Things feel hopeless.

We wake up sweating, not enthusiastic about what's the day going on to bring. We know what the day have for us. I'll tell that throughout this blog.

So yep, we wake up hopeless, getting ready for our work institution feels like a big task. We reach on time, take our seats and just sit, studying , discussing, talking and gossiping and sometimes just staring the phone screen or sleeping. We leave around 12 pm. 

The things doesn't end there.

After 12 till 5 I need to stay at the institution to get the attendence. 5 hours more spent hopelessly trying to accomplish but what exactly, I don't know.

Don't think that we don't have anything to do. We have a lot on our heart and head. What I feel I lack is the drive, to do something. When I see what I ought to do the first thought is , No it's not going to happen..too long of a journey...too tough.. and so on.

How much am I expected to sit in a room and be at the recieving end of information for days , weeks , months and years now.

I am either in the small room or between the 4 walls of home. Or, yeh maybe on the roads shuffling between these 2 states.

It's frustrating and makes me feel hopeless.😑

I had tried many things apart for being totally reserved for academics. That took toll for my entire time and mental space. Kept me occupied that I just had time to do what's needed academically and nothing more, nothing less . Let's see if there is any way I can get out of the frustrating trap. I have dreams , big ones to be accomplished and all I know is if that's how it's going to be,  things  won't be able to work out.

The cycle of monotony has set in and I can't see it breaking for a little long run. Maybe it's all in my head and i can just prepare my best for the next big thing in the schedule and... just keep going on.

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