Skip to main content

reflecting my best

It's been a while since I have dressed up when there's nowhere to go. 

It's not  that I actually dress up while getting out of home, it's just unusual to dress up to stay at home. 


Today won't be just-a-stay-at-home. 

There is someone really important to visit me today.

I guess he would be here soon and it's been years. I would be seeing him after 3 long years.

 I  took the final look at the place. It had to be exactly the same as he left it to be. The same way we set it on my arrival here. 

I checked myself once again, I was in my maroon solid colored full sleeved knee length dress with a full sleeved denim jacket left open, with my favorite denim heeled boots. It was exactly what I was feeling at that moment, maroon reflecting modesty and beauty, shielded by denim as a sign of strength. No major makeup needed. I felt good to go.


I don't know if all that we had gone through in the last few years is worth it . Was I at a stage I imagined  would be in the years to come? Are all the decisions and sacrifices justified? 

I don't have an answer to these, yet, to make things go fine, all i can do is do what i planned to do years ago, yet with no restraint on my head of any sorts. Even if not at the success stage I thought myself to be at. I am better than the last time he saw me and now, my plans could work out the best without any assistance of any sort.

Today, I can be whoever I have always wanted to be and I am proud of all that's gone into this!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Escaping, but from whom?

It's a quite place which I always claimed will make me most productive.  And now that I am here, I occasionally get lost in my thoughts, which is basically about all the issues I am surrounded with. While at home,  I was constantly in search of emptiness, a room where no one ones what am I doing, judge whether what I am doing would actully help me make my future better, to validate the feelings I express. I used to just sleep or try to study in a room locked from inside where most of the time was spent crying till I am too exhausted to do nothing more than needed, sorting what went wrong and hiding from everyone around. I have been there before and after attempts of moving on, the things are back again , right in front of me. Everytime it happens, it leave a hollowness inside which doesn't really fills up. It gets deeper, progressively. I have been shrinking out socially and hasn't been a serious bother since the ones I have to keep with me, are with me.  The previous tim...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Abundant Room Upstairs, No One is Allowed to enter! #1

There is an old brown dusty chair that sits in the abandoned room upstairs. I didn’t figure out who does it belongs to yet we, the family who resides here on rental basis, are forbidden for using it. Mamma says that we must not enter the room, at any cost. Yet, I trespassed this boundary yesterday, when my dearest cat went upstairs, like she usually does. I didn’t ponder upon this fact as Cookie has her favorite place to sleep upstairs. But upon her no appearing back even after opening up of its favorite food (cats are very strong at detecting smell), a doubt arose. I waited for a few more minutes and when my expectations failed too, I decided to go upstairs and check. The forbidden room was at left, so I went forward and checked the room on the right side. “Cookie” I called out. No response. I called out again, twice, yet the result was just as the first time, that is no response again. I had the bowl of cat food in my hand, whose presence would have been hard to go unnoticed, given...
8 comments
Read more
  I can stare at the sky and think about literally everything that’s there, be it connecting the dots of my past happenings that got me to the stage I am. While thinking about it, I feel as if I am narrating my favorite experiences to my long-gone friend. I jump from one experience to another, losing the chain of the story and eventually getting back from where I started. I think about the most practical things I can see in my future and what I’ll need to do for it. At times, I land up making alternate possibilities of how things might have turned out if I had made choices a little different from what I actually did. Sometimes, when I don’t want to think about anything in particular, I get my earphones and enjoy the music and the peace in me with the quiet of the night. Without anything to listen, my head will always be filled with something or the other. So yeah, that works sometimes. I see aeroplanes occasionally. They lit me up. Memories. Dreams. Possibilities. In these da...
Post a Comment
Read more