Skip to main content

The feeling in the heart saying - what am I doing here - still lingers, waiting for the moment when things make sense, when the dots backward connect , when all the efforts and chaos feels worth going through. What is causing these thoughts, and what would it take get better free of them ? It's been long I have been bothered by these thoughts, never concluding in an answer.

There is flicker of possibility I thought we have, which is to discover a feeling so freeing that feels like magic which comes over once we cross that threshold efforts levels. Only the beginnings are tough, once you get better, you'll start enjoying and that's where the magic begins! That's what I thought. Well, right now, this feeling is fading. I don't have any hope of discovering magic and fun when I sit for my work.

The life keeps going,  praises and rewards keeps me  going,  and these are the very things preventing me to think beyond, for something better , for a bigger picture.

The world is see outside is so unpredictable but the people, we plan things till our deaths. We plan things to be left behind after our deaths. We have our whole life planed with plans A , B and further more. One things doesn't work out and it feels like the domino rally of everything going the wrong way, not in our direction anyway. Right now,  surrounded with numerous options which is just one click away, being unsure of what next is blurring.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Abundant Room Upstairs, No One is Allowed to enter! #1

There is an old brown dusty chair that sits in the abandoned room upstairs. I didn’t figure out who does it belongs to yet we, the family who resides here on rental basis, are forbidden for using it. Mamma says that we must not enter the room, at any cost. Yet, I trespassed this boundary yesterday, when my dearest cat went upstairs, like she usually does. I didn’t ponder upon this fact as Cookie has her favorite place to sleep upstairs. But upon her no appearing back even after opening up of its favorite food (cats are very strong at detecting smell), a doubt arose. I waited for a few more minutes and when my expectations failed too, I decided to go upstairs and check. The forbidden room was at left, so I went forward and checked the room on the right side. “Cookie” I called out. No response. I called out again, twice, yet the result was just as the first time, that is no response again. I had the bowl of cat food in my hand, whose presence would have been hard to go unnoticed, given...
8 comments
Read more

What if I Owned it ?

I would love to own a bakery. I don't know why but the idea sounds really fascinating to me. Being surrounded by cakes and pastries and breads which are freshly baked or hot chocolates just out of the oven! The thought itself is mouth watering. These tempting thoughts need to be subdued otherwise all my business would run down the hill, in utter loss if I became the prime consumer for the things I intent others to consume . Oh, did I mention to forget crispy yet soft, melting cookies? Well, now I did!  I love to see happy people. Maybe it's something we all could relate and wish to be. Yet, could we  be a part of everyone's birthday celebrations, their marriage or relationship anniversary celebrations or in the moments when people reflect back at life and all they have is admiration of how things have changed for good as well as bad, yet everything they cherish. Can we be a part when friends with long-gone-being-in-touch reunite and laugh at the moments which they thought c...
6 comments
Read more

That's the way I work!

 I exhaled the breath that was captured inside me, realizing that the person didn't intend to convey the news to me yet. I'll get my news.  I don't know how long that's going to take but my mind is beginning to take its troll. I just couldn't wait anymore!  Was the news even meant for me? I didn't know. All I knew was , being patient is the only option to patient.  I have been acting impulsively. Once I decide I want to finish off something, I'll do it anyway, without giving it a second thought. Once convinced, concider it's done. The whole efforts, are therefor, put into the Convincing process. It's freaking hard to convince me to do something. My friends often say, why do you think so much? Why are you so afraid of taking actions ? I don't think I am afraid or I take too much time deciding. It's just, i don't have an explanation for this. If my Gut feeling says I should do it, I'll do it or otherwise.  Following my own philosophies,...
8 comments
Read more