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An unexpected bunch of Shock , terror and longing. Part I


I lay awake in the patch of shadows and moonlight peeking in though my semi-open window, waiting for my parents to come back home. They left for respective meetings and in spite of knowing the fact that they won’t me back home soon, my heart lure to feel their presence and my eyes moistens, making my vision blur.

It’s not the first time, nor the last.

 It would be my future as it was my past.

Thoughts in my mind were racing, disappearing faster than I could have comprehend them. I raised up from the bed and without turning the lights on, I walked towards the door with my intentions clear to me. I didn’t pull out a jacket but it was expected to be cool outside.  “You should protect yourself from getting swayed with your unwitty impulsive mind. It won’t take time for cool things to become cold for you.”  These would have been the words of my mom had she been here but, anyways. She has always been great in playing with words, creating their maze around me. It was the barrier of language and words and quotes and idioms which always made her a winner for putting me into things no one ever would have convinced me for.  She always said I should not leave my etiquettes to be perceived as cool. The people who would expect a different behaviour from me to become cool would be the same ones who would offer me a cold shoulder sooner or later. She would have said, it. Yeah, had she been available.

Coming out of the paralysis caused by her words, my thoughts, or the unavoidable amalgam of both, I easily slipped on my sandals and walked outside the home. I did lock the door. Expecting a robbery at the only night I left the home was the last thing I wanted to happen.

After checking the doors and windows for the last time, I turned back to face away from the door, toward the world I wanted to head for. Staring at the road beneath my feet, where would it take me today. I am a science student. We aim to know mysteries behind everything and then apply the reason (proved) or thesis (unproved) or hypothesis to make the miracle for the crowd to come up as something obvious and it’s the very moment you become intellectual to the rest of the world.  Coming back to the point, we are all so sure of out paths that we don’t have the strength to muster courage for the unknown. (it’s the scientists who explore science, school students only pass the exams).

I paced up unsure of the direction I wanted to go. The streets were empty and cold. There was a rare stillness in the atmosphere. Things felt dull and dead. I couldn’t differentiate if it was my thoughts making me perceive things as dull and dead as at other occasions, I would have loved the aura and the spell that the night casts on the ruthless and unstoppable world. Yet, today, I felt unstoppable. Increasing my pace, I actually started running toward the unknown. It helped me in warming my body in the cool, no, cold atmosphere but my legs wanted to stop. My mind is unsure but my heart is beating as if I am doing the task, I could never have been surer about.  I kept running under the streetlights’ guidance. My shadow keeps oscillating between its shortest and longest dimensions and I got past each street light. I am taking turns in the directing I find the lights to be inviting. I keep following the increasing brightness of the light, one brighter than the previous. I am looking down at the road in an attempt to notice and avoid anything that would prevent my will to unleash.

 

The lights intensity kept increasing till the level I got blinded by them. I can’t see my path anymore. My legs ask me to stop. So does my abdomen, my lungs and my brain. I can see nothing. Nothing except a while background having something that looks like a knob from a distance. I had no strength to walk or even breath. My muscles at the ribs started to pain. Yet I strolled toward the knob like thing and got the much-needed support by keeping my hand on it. I open it and I fell on my knees.  My legs hurt. My heart unempowered. My lungs grasping for air while my muscles refusing to aid in any movement.

 

I am woken up by a boy who appears to be younger than me. Are you ok? He asked giving me his hand to make my stand. Instead, I shook his hand and kept sitting. “I can’t stand.” I said to him, showing him the scars at my feet in an attempt to prove myself. His expressions changes from i-don’t-know-who-you-are to I-wish-I-knew-who-you-are. He came to stand closer and after contemplating something I can’t figure out, he sat beside me.

I waited for him to say something. I took my time to have a glance upon him, trying to be Sherlock Holmes and figure out facts about him which were easily reflected by him. He looked sober, nothing much fancy yet he was kind hearted, as he made himself vulnerable enough by stretching a helping hand towards someone unknown to him, out of his world. He kept sitting low-headed. That’s when my eyes recognised a circled darkened impression on shorts he was wearing. Looking up at him, I saw the stream of tears floes thorough his eyes, leaving their marks on the clothes he wore.

“Hey honey, what happened?” I asked gently and I kept my tone concerned. “You should leave this place as soon as possible” He said in a voice barely audible. It was the first time that I lifted by head and turned it around to have a view of I place I was in. I didn’t recognise it. It looked like a movie shooting area. Everything appeared fake and artificially made up.

“What place is it. Why do you want me to leave? And, sweetie, why are you sad?”

He dabbed his eyes in mine, his look strong enough to startle me and his expressions very mature for his age. 



The story doesn't ends here!

Part II coming up ! Its part II

Thank you '

ANU.

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