JustAnu

Things have been pretty blank these days. Since I am an intern, the only people I am answerable to, are my seniors at work (and this transition from being in a bunch of people of the same group to working is fairly new to me). The work timings depend, on department to department, from unit to unit and within weekdays too. Currently I am at a calmer place so I do not have anything major to worry about. Things will be changing from next week, for the next 6 weeks, about which I have no idea. I’ll get clarity on the coming Tuesday. Coming back to the blank, with lesser hectic days, most of my time is spent lying on the sofa, scrolling through my favourite youtubers’ content, anything I would like to shop on and adding them to the bag and never with an intent of actually buying them. When not scrolling, I will either watch a movie or read a novel or hear them on audiobook apps. The loops never seem to end. When I realise that I have time at my hand and I have nothing to do, I go online se...

It's been almost 10 days after the exams got over. With all that happened during the whole year, it took a little while for the realisation to set in. The last year was mostly spent indoors, either in the class rooms physically or by online- classes. The most I have done the last year was to absorb content. The content majorly comprised of the syllabus to be covered and during the breaks, it was either a movie or a YouTube video or any artical online , basically,  content.  I haven't been out of the city for 2.5 years now, except for the 1 day trip to hill which we about 50 km from the city I live in. On one side, yes I want to venture out. On the other , it's havnt been a habit for me so shall it matters so much ? I am not sure over this. Now that I am free majorly, I have been trying to do some things.  And all the plans I made before the exam, are not yet done. Does this happen only to me., that when things ain't possible, we keep planning for them and when the right...

  I can stare at the sky and think about literally everything that’s there, be it connecting the dots of my past happenings that got me to the stage I am. While thinking about it, I feel as if I am narrating my favorite experiences to my long-gone friend. I jump from one experience to another, losing the chain of the story and eventually getting back from where I started. I think about the most practical things I can see in my future and what I’ll need to do for it. At times, I land up making alternate possibilities of how things might have turned out if I had made choices a little different from what I actually did. Sometimes, when I don’t want to think about anything in particular, I get my earphones and enjoy the music and the peace in me with the quiet of the night. Without anything to listen, my head will always be filled with something or the other. So yeah, that works sometimes. I see aeroplanes occasionally. They lit me up. Memories. Dreams. Possibilities. In these da...

A lot is going to change in a few months.  Right now, we are just into study and prepare for the exam, firstly securing its eligibility. These exams are important, super important and equally challenging. Feels tough to stay focused on the long-term goal while managing the other short-term urgent goals.  There is a lot of stuff that has been kept on halt till the exams. The to-do list will go on..... Most importantly, we will be out of the student role whose aim is just to clear off the exams well to someone with responsibility to do stuff worthwhile, having to play positive role and have a different learning experience. And yes, it is not that we will be free as a bird once the exam is passed. We will have responsibilities bigger than we now face and work in an aspect we have never done. The gears are expected to change. Something we have been waiting for since long, very long.   Right now, cutting off distractions is the main obstacle to be overcome. Got to focus o...

Be it the clothes that you opt for. Fashion is an expression right ? We choose clothes that are comfortable to our life just like our skin. But with all this fast and unsustainable fashion, the self-expression is losing is charm and so does our environment. Now fashion seems more of a task to fit yourself in the fake world. Buy less, smart and the only stuff you feel can represent your true, long term expression. Coming on to the next thing, the friendships we build. It takes time to understand someone, to know their goods and to know their bads. And so does the person needs times and experiences to understand your true sense of being in their life. It will take time and vulnerability and heck lot of experience. I feel there is no end to how well you can understand someone. One cannot just opt for the good qualities in another human being and look for another perfect one once they discover the bads in the previous person. That would be a mess. The third thing in my mind to support ...

“We all have days when we feel everyone, we see around is the rich, pretty, smart.” He said, trying to handle the situation for the n-th time.   “Happy as well.” It was a decision more than a query. I couldn’t stop myself from blurting it out.  “Maybe, at least that’s how it seems.” He said absently. I know that the social media impacts him as well. Even though he hadn’t completely quit it the way I have, he seemed to have better control on how he sees it. At least from my end, the conversation was non-leading. I didn’t want a fixed stance on what’s right and what’s not. I wanted to admit that everything has a spectrum and beyond the extremes, where everything seems to be in the most captivating and irresistible to get inclined towards, it’s okay to be in the grey area in between.  I had recently joined a coaching academy where it was harder to avoid the social vibes than it was at the college. In college, everyone appears similar, with the white aprons covering th...