JustAnu

The feeling in the heart saying - what am I doing here - still lingers, waiting for the moment when things make sense, when the dots backward connect , when all the efforts and chaos feels worth going through. What is causing these thoughts, and what would it take get better free of them ? It's been long I have been bothered by these thoughts, never concluding in an answer. There is flicker of possibility I thought we have, which is to discover a feeling so freeing that feels like magic which comes over once we cross that threshold efforts levels. Only the beginnings are tough, once you get better, you'll start enjoying and that's where the magic begins! That's what I thought. Well, right now, this feeling is fading. I don't have any hope of discovering magic and fun when I sit for my work. The life keeps going,  praises and rewards keeps me  going,  and these are the very things preventing me to think beyond, for something better , for a bigger picture. The world i...

I have the same sequence of thoughts. I think about work, what is it taking out of me and where will it take me, and during the process, I'll either end up scrolling or sleeping, expressing my mental physical tiredness. I don't know how my friends are managing this internship and taking out consistent time to study and prepare for the competitive exams and with their instagram stories revealing that they are not missing out on fun! And, about the internship- I try to finish the tasks I have been given; I try to do a little more, learn a little more, try something beyond the regular stuff till the time I am tired. I try imagining where exactly, out of the places I have been posted, would I like to be working. but till now, I have not been able to reach to a conclusion. Give me a few free hours and I will either sleep or read novels. Recently the latest books I have read are- The Bastard of Istanbul , The –Perfect– Marriage and right now, its Girls Burn Brighter - all these nove...